in Life My 10-Year-Old Turned Down an iPhone
Yes, we tried to buy my ten-year-old an iPhone. Usher in the internet army of professional parents ready to immediately pass judgement about such a decision. “A TEN YEAR OLD? WITH AN IPHONE?! YOU MAY AS WELL SIGN HIM UP FOR REHAB NOW!” “MY KID CAN HAVE AN IPHONE WHEN SHE HAS A JOB AND …
in Life 101 Relationship Ideas For Your Next Improv Class
As some of you know I started taking Improv classes a few weeks back. I’m still finding my place and it’s a genuinely good time that stretches my brain in lots of interesting ways that are very good for me. It’s also nice to get out of the house and interact with real people in …
in Life Friendshipping Steroids
It’s weird to have a spectrum disorder be the glue that binds us together with strangers. So much of the time we rely on hobbies, or sports teams, or favorite Netflix Originals to bridge the gap between small talk and budding friendships. But we almost never think about the possibility that pain, or hardship, or …
in Life That Time I Got Banned From 7-Eleven
As far as I know I’m the only person on the planet to ever be banned from a 7-Eleven. Granted, it was only from one location and not the entire chain, but still, I was genuinely asked by a 7-Eleven franchisee to never return to their establishment again. To this day I don’t believe I …
in Life Mother’s Day at Walmart
I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Walmart SuperCenter between the hours of 2 and 5am but I’d never recommend it. It’s like FEMA has come though with their latest round of supplies since the most recent disaster. Aisles are littered with pallets of Great Value™ baked goods and whatever horrible sauce concoction …
in Life The 16 Step Process for Updating a WordPress Theme
I get twitter DMs pretty regularly with people asking for help with various things on their WordPress sites. They range from “will you rebuild my site for free?” to “I need a few little things done and I’m happy to pay you.“ Sometimes it’s simply that their website has an error and they aren’t sure …
in Life Sweet Baby James
It was a Monday like any other except for this time without caffeine. We only had one Diet Pepsi left in the fridge and when I slogged down the stairs to my office at 4:00am I decided I’d put in my official application for Husband of the Year 2019 and forego my morning ritual so …
in Comedy A Sad Night at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru
As many of you know, one of the goals I have in 2019 is to perform comedy at an open mic night. To that end I’ve started writing more comedy, a little bit every day. I’m also going to start publishing videos regularly so that I can get comfortable with talking to the camera, and …
About Me
I wanna be a writer, so I'm writing. In this space I muse about being a dad, my journey through stand-up comedy, the joy of cooking, and hot takes about bad movies.