• On Slowing Down

    On Slowing Down

    A large platter will hold a surprising amount of vomit. Like, at first you’d think it’s going to automatically spill over the edges, but when you start to factor in the viscosity of the regurgitate, the rotundity of the dish, and the overall surface area, you’d really be surprised at how much puke will fit…

  • The Fist Bump 👊

    The Fist Bump 👊

    I was walking down the street near my home on an evening stroll, when a chiseled specimen came toward me from the opposite direction. He was out on an evening run and was making some really incredible time. I was out walking, trying to get a bit of exercise, and I think he could tell.…

  • That Time I Got Banned From 7-Eleven

    That Time I Got Banned From 7-Eleven

    As far as I know I’m the only person on the planet to ever be banned from a 7-Eleven. Granted, it was only from one location and not the entire chain, but still, I was genuinely asked by a 7-Eleven franchisee to never return to their establishment again. To this day I don’t believe I…

  • Mother’s Day at Walmart

    Mother’s Day at Walmart

    I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Walmart SuperCenter between the hours of 2 and 5am but I’d never recommend it. It’s like FEMA has come though with their latest round of supplies since the most recent disaster. Aisles are littered with pallets of Great Value™ baked goods and whatever horrible sauce concoction…

  • The 16 Step Process for Updating a WordPress Theme

    The 16 Step Process for Updating a WordPress Theme

    I get twitter DMs pretty regularly with people asking for help with various things on their WordPress sites. They range from “will you rebuild my site for free?” to “I need a few little things done and I’m happy to pay you.“ Sometimes it’s simply that their website has an error and they aren’t sure…

  • I Neutered My Macbook

    I Neutered My Macbook

    Crunch. Whirrrrr. Crunch. Whirrrr. Crunch. Whirrrrrr. I know you’ve all heard gears grind before, right? It’s actually been proven that sound is worse than Lloyd Christmas’ most annoying sound in the world. It’s really truly awful. That was the sound I heard as I put down the foot rest on our reclining couch last night.…

  • Why I Use Apple Safari – And Some Tips for Getting Started

    Why I Use Apple Safari – And Some Tips for Getting Started

    I’ve been using Safari as my primary browser for about 2 months now and honestly, other than a few small adjustments, it’s been pretty great. I wanted to share some of the little gotchas I encountered and some of the benefits I’ve seen since switching to Safari. I’ll also share some of the things that…

  • Letting Myself Off The Hook

    Letting Myself Off The Hook

    This is the year I’m finally going to do it. That’s been the mantra of every single year since I very first thought about self-improvement and had the smallest desire to make myself better. Whether it’s losing weight, writing more, doing more community service, etc., every April I end up in a similar place. No…

  • I Need You To Gun It

    I Need You To Gun It

    I still remember the intent look in his eyes. This was serious. We paused at the crest of a hill, looking down the embankment and up the other side across a small ravine. He stepped off his snowmobile, which was something that no one ever did. With as much snow as had fallen, trying to…

  • Changes

    Changes

    Over seven years ago I started fixing people’s websites in my basement for extra cash, and I quickly found out that I really liked doing it. I found out pretty quickly that solving difficult problems for people was something that brought me real happiness, and it wasn’t long before I left a cushy full time…