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We were already married when I found out you had been paying 10 cents for every single text that we sent back and forth the entire time we were dating.

I started to do the mental math and my brain overheated because I knew how many late nights we spent furiously finger-typing until 2 am.

All along I figured you must have had unlimited texting like I did, but it turns out only the coolest of the cool had such a luxury 😎

But that’s how we’ve always done everything.

You see, I never had any reason to assume that you had unlimited texting. A very basic question from me would have saved you full paychecks of digital bits that have since evaporated into the ether.

But asking that question would have been “awkward”, and even though I’m sure you went into a cold sweat every time the T-Mobile bill arrived, on the surface you were always beyond cool.

In your mind you were making an investment. In my mind, I probably would have encouraged you to change your plan, or honestly, the text messages would have slowed down a whole lot.

And deep down I think you knew that. But you didn’t want the texts to stop.

You knew how hard it was to get inside my brain, and more importantly inside my heart. And so now that you had found your way inside my thick outer shell, you weren’t going to risk letting that door close again, even if it meant picking up more shifts or starting another part-time job.

Welcome to Mooseport

Does anyone outside of our closest friends know that Ray Romano and Gene Hackman are who brought us together?

That the feature film with a Rotten Tomatoes audience score of 19 and a critic score of 13 was the catalyst for starting our family?

And no, I don’t mean that in the literal sense. Jeez, perverts. Why’d you go and ruin a perfectly romantic post about how Jackie and I started dating?

It’s not like Ray Romano was our Barry White. We wouldn’t put on Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs and listen to the smooth sounds of Ray yelling “MAAAAA WHY’D YA TELL DAD ABOUTIT?!” in order to get in the mood.

No, that wasn’t it at all. BUT, sometimes a really awful movie is great reason to ignore the movie completely and get lost in each other. The movie is a decoy because there’s no cool way to invite a person to your shared dorm living room to talk about how much you care about them.

I remember how nervous we both were. The idea of telling each other how much fun it had been to spend time together was terrifying to both of us.

And for the longest time I gave myself credit for brining us together. Because technically I sent the text and rented the DVD, so that night that set the trajectory for the next fifteen years was all my doing.

high fives self

It took me longer than I’d ever like to admit that your efforts are the reason we’re together all these years later.

I mean, technically, I did send the text and did spend the $4.18 at Hollywood Video, but I never would have had a chance if you weren’t there to begin with.

You were always there, and not in a stalker-type way. As far as I know you’ve always had a clean criminal record.

But it was like you knew we’d be together way before it was something I had even considered. Before it was a fleeting thought for me, it was a foregone conclusion for you.

And if you hadn’t known that fifteen years later we’d still be together, we probably wouldn’t be together. Because I would have told you to save your money and stop texting. And Ray Romano would still be stuck in that demolished Hollywood Video.

Happy Birthday Jac. Thank you for always seeing what matters most (and for showing me I’m worth the 10 cents per message).